31 Days of Halloween: Day 14, Smiley (2012)

Before we start. I refuse to go to any place that could possibly gives views or visits to the film, Smiley. So I'm not going to grab pictures. I don't want anyone under the false idea that someone actually wanted to view their material.

I talked about The Den not that long ago. A great, suspenseful film that has you on the edge of your seat and shows us just how big the internet is in our lives and how it can be used to harm us or frighten us. Well, before I ever saw The Den, I saw Smiley. I had no idea just how terrifying the internet could be until I saw Smiley. Now Smiley is scary in a whole different way. Smiley is scary in the idea that a movie like it ever saw the light of day. The writer should have burned the script and never looked back, because Smiley is just terrible and shitty.

For the life of me I can barely remember the plot of this shit show. I think it's about two girls in high school who spend all their time on Omegle or something. They learn the urban legend of a killer called Smiley who shows up and kills the other person you're looking at on camera if you type, and I shit you not, "I did it for the lulz." three times on the chat window. It's like an idiotic version of the Candy Man. So, anyway, this stupid looking killer shows up and stabs a person on camera... so scary. You know what? Smiley doesn't even deserve this much. The plot fucking sucks. It ends up leading to a twist that would make a Shyamalan shake his head at how stupid it was. Whoever wrote this movie must have sat down and watched a bunch of good horror and thought to themselves, "I can totally do that to. I'll just take all the good parts of these and put them together. How can it fail?". Unfortunately talent is a factor in this sort of thing and the writer had none. So the twist at the end of the movie is that every character but one is in on the plot and all are trying to kill her dressed as Smiley. They all smugly gloat about how they tricked the hell out of a dead girl and disperse to post on their tumblr or something. Oh but it's not over. The main douche in charge decides to type the magic phrase while talking to one of the other conspirators and... OH MY GOD! Smiley is actually real! So damn stupid.

Smiley could be pointed to as an example of the phrase, artistically bankrupt. It steals elements from many many better movies and does none of it well. Before I forget, Smiley also has abysmal acting and special effects. If I had been unlucky enough to see this in a theater I would have lit it on fire and waited gladly for the police to take me away. Never ever watch this. Even if it's free and you're bored. No amount of alcohol could make this a fun experience. By the end of watching this we were all just talking about better movies to watch. Fuck Smiley. I'm out.