I grabbed a couple of Modelo Especials to make the right atmosphere, domestic beer just wouldn't do it for this one. So, the plot of Wrestlemanic. A very very amateur porn crew goes down to Mexico to film the GREATEST PORNO EVER! Though in their quest for a great location they end up in a ghost town who's population is a murderous super luchador. Pretty basic, but it's a slasher with a different twist, so I don't mind something simple.
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| The two of spades, the two of spades! |
The cast, let's talk about these people. After a rather lengthy opening credits, which do show some sweet Mexican wrestling shots, I get about five minutes in and realize I hate all of these characters. I will give you their description and as much development as the movie gives you. Douchebag who looks like a broke ass Lemmy from Motorhead. Fat Nerd. Stoner. Drunk skank. Contortionist skank. Skank skank. These are your characters. They cannot be killed fast enough and honestly don't get killed fast enough for my liking. The hero of your movie is El Mascarado, a luchador made from parts of other luchadors by the Mexican government who went ape shit and started killing people. Dude is damn scary and played by Rey Mysterio Sr, the Uncle of multi-promotion wrestling star Rey Mysterio Jr.
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| Look at those eyes. Damn. |
This is a modern exploitation film if I've ever seen one and it's awesome. It's a little grainy, the characters are stupid enough to throw away the map ten minutes in, gratuitous shots of asses in tiny shorts and a little bit of boobage. If this played at a drive-in back when they were popular, no one would have thought it was out of place. I'm not comparing it to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but it has the same kind of look to it if you're familiar. It even has the scary and gross stranger, but instead of warning the kids away from Murderville, actually named El Sangre Di Dios, he just gives them directions there! Thinking back it's honestly pretty funny. But then they get the bright idea to film their porn in Murderville, so can you really blame the gross stranger? He did the world a favor.
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| I guess exploitation isn't all bad... |
The kills, that's what we all came for. They take a long time to start happening and you also don't see most of them. but the ones you do see are pretty brutal. The first two kills are off screen and you discover that El Mascarado follows the old ways of wrestling and takes he opponent's mask when he beats them. So he's just straight up ripping faces off. The first kill you get to see is lengthy and brutal, this dude gets the crap kicked out of him and face beaten in on bricks for minutes. Very satisfying. Fat guy attempts to wrestle the science experiment wrestler with predictable results, but you don't see any of him getting brutalised. There is a kill via back breaker, which is fairly sweet and crunchy sounding. So you know though, no one makes it out of this movie.
The special effects vary drastically. One guy after his face is torn off just looks like they put Chef Boyardee on him to make the effect. Others though are just gross looking with full musculature visible and everything. One thing that's common though is that the face removal scenes are all great and nasty looking. El Mascarado is Leatherface if he were a luchador and keeps a gallery of stolen faces. Wow... that's pretty bad ass. The most lengthy kill is of course the most bloody and you see broken teeth, blood pouring and hear the sound of teeth against brick as faces get smashed. I'd give them a general thumbs up.
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| No Booker, we need those for Wrestlemaniac |
I'm pretty sure there is one Mexican in the entire movie and it's El Mascarado. This movie takes place in Mexico. There are a few pretty decent chase scenes and one of them has some good and tense moments. I would have preferred a faster jump to the kills and seeing more of them, but it's hard to complain when Wrestlemaniac is 75 minutes long and without credits it's mostly likely just above an hour. The end is also sudden and pretty awesome.
All in all it isn't the most shining example of the slasher genre, but it does pay homage to the movies that inspired it. There is even a Vorhees Cantina in the town they go to. I'd say Wrestlemaniac is worth checking out. It's short, probably would make a pretty decent party movie to get everyone warmed up for the next movie. If you have a free hour, check it out. Until next time, don't be afraid to be scary. Also check out our Twitter https://twitter.com/SinisterUA_Blog
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